It's all about perspective....

Our Sweet Girls

That mop of shiny black hair on the left is Mary. She is teaching our Zoey how to say Mommy, Daddy and brother while pointing to our pictures in a photo album that we sent to Zoey. This is a screenshot from the video we received after sending a care package to Zoey. I worked hard to capture this moment because I absolutely adore the way Zoey looks at her in this very moment.

We have shared the story about the nine year old girl that we have been pursuing in addition to Zoey. The one they said was "unadoptable." We begged for the orphanage officials to make a file for her. She is adoptable! We will adopt her! THIS is the girl. This is Mary. Mary is not her Chinese name. I cannot share her Chinese name or any photographs that identify her until and unless we have approval to adopt her.

We made it very clear to our agency and to everyone we know that with two boys in college and a third almost there, we would definitely not be able to afford two trips to China. Our best hope of bringing both girls home would be in convincing Mary's orphanage to prepare her file very expeditiously. Her orphanage agreed to make a file and we prayed, prepared and prayed some more. We knew this was out of our hands at this point.

Well, we reached a milestone in our adoption process. We received our I800A approval. That is approval from US Customs and Immigration that says we are suitable to adopt a child from a Hague Convention country or in our case: two children. We are taking the steps to Authenticate our approval and when we finish that process it will be sent to our agency in Colorado. This will complete the dossier process on our end. Our agency will then triple check our documents, bind them in a file, translate everything and ship it off to China. We will finally, blessedly, officially be DTC (Dossier to China) this month. With this knowledge and bearing in mind that timing is of the essence in order to pull off a concurrent adoption, I asked our agency to check on Mary's file for international adoption. Our agency rep got back to me today and said it's coming along slowly and she will check back in a few months...few months???
We should be traveling to China in a few months.
I asked her what this means for our chance at a concurrent adoption.
She said it's not likely.
Not likely.
That's a punch to the gut.
Now what?

I told Pete. We were both devastated. I kind of sat here all afternoon steeping in my own misery and then I thought about a post that I read yesterday that was written be a sweet friend and fellow adoptive mom Nicci Scarborough. In the post she talked bout people who said they always wanted to adopt but could not afford it. I went back and re-read it. She said:

That’s a problem with perspective. If you look at it as though you ARE a parent of a child living in deplorable conditions, who yearns for a home, who desperately needs to be shown love in order to grow healthy and strong, if your heart tells you that you ARE a child’s parent and you’ve decided to see it from that angle, then how much money could stand in the way of you going to get your child? What would you do if your child was being held half way across the world? What would you pay to ransom him/her? What is that life worth to you? Would you say, “Darn, my child is living apart from me. I’m not sure if she’s being adequately cared for, but probably not. I just can’t come up with the money to go get her and bring her home.” What WOULDN’T you do if that were the case? What could possibly keep a parent from their child?

In answer to that. Nothing. Nothing will keep us from fighting for this file. Nothing will keep us from pursuing this adoption. We will do whatever we have to do in order to bring both of our girls home. Keep us in your prayers please. All of us. Pete and I, Zoey and most especially Mary.

Thank you.

Putting the Cart Before the Horse....

I posted this picture on facebook this weekend.

Seems innocent enough, right?

Well...I guess I got ahead of myself 

and caused some confusion for some people

because we got questions, lots of questions.

As most of you know, 

we fell in love with a little girl 

and we asked our social worker, our agency 

and the powers that be if we could adopt her and make her our daughter.

This would be in addition to the little girl 

that we were already madly in love with.

Our sweet Zoey.

We are asking to adopt two.

Sisters! How fun!

If you have read my blog then you know 

that when we inquired about this second child,

we were initially given an answer that we did not want to hear.

They said she had no file.

They said she was unadoptable.

We pleaded with our agency to advocate on our behalf

and they did.

Our agency got back to us,

they will make a file.

There is an asterisk, however.

The file may take months. 

It may not. It is at their discretion.

Our adoption of Zoey is proceeding as planned.

We are not delaying any part of our adoption process.

We are full steam ahead.

We are hoping against hope and praying feverently

that a file for our sweet 9 year old will be done expeditiously.

If we receive her file quickly (a referral)

and then we send our Letter of Intent to adopt her quickly (LOI)

and then we receive Pre-Approval to adopt her (PA)

before our family's file that includes our homestudy, USCIS approval

and all of our background documents (our Dossier)

gets logged in to the 

China Center for Children’s Welfare and Adoption 

(CCCWA),

then we can adopt both girls together.

Our Dossier should be logged in with CCCWA next month.

October that is. 

We need her file by then so we can adopt them together.

They are in the same medical foster care setting.

I don't know how we will fly all the way around the world 

to the very place where both girls are 

and only come home with 

one.

I do feel that we are on a path of great purpose.

I have tremendous faith that this will work out.

I am not without fear though I do have faith.

If you are the praying sort please join us in prayer 

that her file will be complete and come to us in time. 

Thank you for that.

So bottom line:

We did not get her file yet.

The folks in China are working on it. 

We do not have PA or any official assignment of her file.

We are not putting any part of our current adoption of Zoey 

on hold in anticipation of receiving that file.

We are hoping and praying that it comes in time.

We do have a trundle bed

as well as 

a set of matching shirts 

for two little girls 

that we hope 

to make 

sisters.

Why Orphan's Need Families...

I recently responded to a Show Hope request for bloggers that would like to help them spread the word about the orphan crisis. Show Hope is an amazing organization that truly answers their call to care for the orphan in every way imagineable. From providing direct care and lifesaving medical care to orphans right through to assisting adoptive families with fundraising and financing adoptions with grants so we can bring more babies home, Show Hope does it all. Please look them up and learn about their work. They have a presence on every social media network imagineable. 

My first blog assignment came to me in early August. I was to write a piece describing why orphans need families. I failed miserably at my assignment. I was in the middle of some dark water in my adoption process and I was trying to stay afloat. Unable to put my thoughts into words that made sense, I just didn't. I couldn't.  I had heard something that rocked me to my core. It really threw me off balance, made me feel as if the world was off kilter and I was trying to figure out how to readjust my equilibrium in this new space. 

I had heard it before. It wasn't the first time. I had tsk-tsk'd at it. Shook my head and remarked "isn't that awful" but I hadn't really felt it. It was never personal enough to truly hurt me. 

This time was different. 

This time, when I heard the word unadoptable, I felt all of the air sucked right from my body. I was dizzy with emotion. 

As I wrote in my last blog post, my husband Pete and I saw a 9 year old girl in the same institution as our 3 year old. When we saw her we had that moment. You kow the moment, when you are looking at a child for the first time and your heart recognizes them as belonging to you.  

Each of us, first seperately and then together had that moment. 

After much conversation, prayer, careful deliberation and more prayer we were certain that we wanted to act on our feelings. 

We have PA for one child and we happen to be working with an amazing agency that allows the concurrent adoption of two unrelated children under special circumstances and with homestudy approval. 

We did some homework and we were able to get her name and birth date. We gave her information to our agency and they went looking on our behalf. 

This is when everything changed for me. This is when the sweetest adoption worker known to man (seriously wonderful human being) had to deliver the news that affected me so deeply. 

This bright, beautiful nine year old girl had never had an adoption file and was unadoptable. 

Unadoptable. 

Contemplate that for a moment. 

Nine years old. No opportunity for a family to review her file and accept her as their own. 

An unadoptable child is not a waiting child as we know it in the adoption community. 

An unadoptable child waits to age out and be on their own in the world, without ever having the unconditional love and support of a family. 

As I read (and reread) the email delivering the news. I wept. 

"No. No. No. No. No. No." Played over and over in my head. 

This hurt. This really hurt. 

She IS adoptable. We want to adopt her

I struggled to find the sense in it all. 

There was no sense to be found. How could there be? 

We are a family falling in love with a child that needs a family. That makes sense. There is logical conclusion to that sequence. Removing the hope for adoption from a child throws a massive wrench in that logic. 

As is typical for me, sorrow gave way to anger. My poor husband donned his kid gloves and said: "So, that's it then, right? We can't do anything about it?"

After giving him my best Medusa impression, I thought about whether or not we can do anything about it. So I again reached out to the sweetest adoption worker known to man and asked:

"What can we do about this? Can we ask them to make a file? Can we show them that she IS adoptable because you already have an approved family that wants to adopt her!?!?"

And then I built momentum...

"This child is so bright and beautiful. Even if she were confined to a wheelchair, even if surgery were required to achieve social continence she can achieve spectacular things. She should have a full life and a family to love her, support her and cheer her on. 

We have done so much research. Our schools have wheelchair and ESL access at every age level. We have two handicap accessible playgrounds in town. We have a huge wheelchair athletic and extracurricular club organization in NJ. 

I prayed so hard that this was not going to be the answer we got."

AND 

that is why orphans need families. Every child NEEDS and DESERVES a family that will get them the best medical care possible, an education that meets their needs and challenges them intellectually, access to recreation that will help them develop their charachter and discover hidden talents, hope for a bright future where they can achieve success by their own definition, a safe place where they can stumble, fall, make mistakes and they will be loved unconditionally while they pick themselves up by their bootstraps and move forward. They deserve faith and hope, family traditions and knowing the joy of people that will celebrate their achievements great snd small. 

I let the pain of my struggle prevent me from answering this blog prompt in a timely fashion. 

Ironically, my struggle IS the answer to the blog prompt.

Right now there are over 140 million orphans worldwide. 

How  can you give them hope?

The name on her door...

Someone has a new bedroom.

I bet you could guess who.

 if you knew her name!

;)

Watch 'til the end...

We have been anxious 

to make the perfect little space 

for the little girl

that has occupied our hearts 

for so long now.

We still have some

more work to do.

We need new closet doors, 

an area rug, 

closet organizers 

and lots of toys....

It's a great start though.

We quite literally woke up one day 

and said "lets do her bedroom."

(you can verify the spontaneity

 with my bed head 

and Pete's flashy AC*DC pajama pants!)

We are so happy that we did it.

We open the door and imagine 

our little girl enjoying the space 

that we created for her.

Yes. We cry.

All of the time.

 BIG FAT tears of joy and anticipation 

and gratitude.


the video on you tube (if you don't have flash)

Sigh...

I have been a bit emotional lately. 

I joke and say that I am "paper pregnant" and it's "adoption hormones" but truthfully, there is a lot going on. 

Our boys are great. 

They are making tough decisions about their lives and exploring their place in the world and these are necessary though never easy growing pains. 

I dropped Taylor off at Mass Maritime Academy this past weekend. 

He is at orientation. 

Orientation is run boot camp style to prepare them for life in a regimental academy. 

It's very disciplined. 

I took his i-phone home with me. 

He is cut off from the outside world. 

We are allowed a little glimpse in to his new world as the school does an orientation blog with daily updates on the training of the cadet candidates. 

You can follow at:

http://mma2014orientation.blogspot.com/?m=1

Taylor is in 1st Company. 

This is a tremendous  opportunity. Admission was more selective this year than ever before. 

Between the blockbuster Captain Phillips casting light on the merchant marine life and US News and World Report naming MMA a "best value" in education, the admissions competition was tough. 

We are so proud of Taylor for making it in. 

Nevertheless, it was really difficult to drive away on Saturday. 

Harder than I had imagined. 

My stepdaughter from my first marriage is getting married to a wonderful man this December. We went to try on dresses at the beginning of the month and she looked so beautiful. She radiated in her final choice. Her beauty, from the inside out, was jaw dropping. Tears? Whoo! Her wedding day is going to knock me out! 

It was just a minute ago that she was twirling in special occasion dresses. When Betty was little that was how she judged a dress: by the swirly-twirlyness of the skirt. I can tell you that her standards have changed BUT she did get a fabulous skirt! 

Betty's hair and make-up trial. She is going to take everyone's breath away on 12/14. 

On the adoption front we are kicked in to high gear. Our homestudy is done! We are sending it off to the USCIS for processing, which usually takes 4-6 weeks. They will give us our biometrics fingerprinting appointment and after that we will prepare to send our dossier to our agency to be reviewed and hopefully sent to China! That's a pretty big deal in our world. The DTC (dossier to China) date is a huge milestone. It puts us in the fourth quarter! 

We have had a few emotional set backs. We realized that we will not, in all likelihood, have our dossier to China by 9/14. 

That is the due date. 

Our agency assured us that this is fine and they are prepared to submit a request for an extension on our behalf. This is a routine procedure and does not reflect negatively on us...but it was difficult to accept. 

We just really want to bring our sweet girl home. 

We also lost our SW right after our homestudy was completed.  

We became really attached to her and were looking forward to doing post placement visits with her but we do wish her well in all future endeavors. 

She was super awesome to work with and came in clutch at the eleventh hour to change our adoption approval to "two children."

And YES...

You read that right. 

Two children. 

Because:

We saw a little girl. 

She is bright, beautiful and super sweet. Nine years old. 

She is at the same hospital as our Yiman. We were each thinking about her privately and then found that we were both thinking the same thing.  

We couldn't shake the image of her. 

Our conversations of "too bad we couldn't" quickly turned to "why can't we?" 

Then Pete said the magic words every wife wants to hear "it can't hurt to look into it, just in case". 

Well, that's a done deal, amiright?

After speaking with our children and our extended family we spoke with our SW and we were approved for two! 

We got the little girl's information and gave it to our agency. They were happy to try to locate her adoption file. 

We started talking bedroom furniture, names, schools, doctors and treatment. 

In other words, we were in this. 

110%

That is, until we weren't in it. 

She has no file for international adoption at this time. 

She never has. 

Nine years old. 

I prayed so hard that this would not be the news I heard. 

Soul crushing. 

I wrote an impassioned plea to my agency. 

I begged to see if a file might be made soon. 

Even if not for us...for someone. 

She deserves a family. 

I am waiting for their reply. 

We are really having a hard time finding peace with this turn of events. 

So ready...

Preparing her space here...

There is something sacred about what we are doing right now.

We are preparing a room for our sweet girl.

Cleaning, painting, decorating and arranging...

Nesting.

It is so very special, so tangible, to clear a space in our home 

and dedicate that space to the little person coming in to our lives.

She had space in our hearts before we knew who she was.

Even before we knew her face or her name, 

we knew that we loved her 

with all of our heart and soul.

It is way too cool to walk through the house and see her door open. 

It brings me joy. 

I can't tell you how many times a day I open the door 

and just stand there, taking it all in.

***

I applied for my first passport in this process.

I have never left my country before.

The very first stamp in  my passport will come 

from our trip to China to meet our daughter. 

This dawned on me as I waited for my photo to print and 

I became so emotional at the Old Bridge Library.

Like....

heart palpitations, giddy, tear eyed and fast talking emotional.

The lovely lady that helped me was so sweet. 

She talked to me about the adoption 

and told me stories about her children.

She told me she would be thinking of us and keeping us in her prayers.

She is just one of many well wishers that we have  met.

We have met so many wonderful people throughout this process. 

I am so impressed and overwhelmed with the kindness of others. 

***

We joined a Secret Pal program in one of our facebook groups.

It works like a Secret Santa program...

we are given info on an adopting family 

and another adopting family is given our info. 

We send little gift packages to each other once a month until it's time to travel. 

We keep our identity secret until then. 

It's a fun way to pass time while we wait for the myriad of paperwork processes. 

We sent our first Secret Pal package in July 

and we also received our first Secret Pal package in July....

we loved it!

Thanks Secret Pal! 

;)

***

We sent another care package to YiMan.

We used Ann at Red Thread again. 

We just love her service.

No great cake this time!

We really hope we get a few new pictures.

The package includes some hair bows since her hair is growing out, 

I can't wait to see the little bows in her hair!

SO....that's what has been going on in the Emory's adoption world.

We are hoping to be DTC soon! 

(that stands for Dossier to China)

It is a huge milestone in the process.

It puts us in the homestretch...hurry up and wait time!

<3 br="">

Beautiful Chaos...

Everything is topsy turvy and upside down in our home right now.
We are wrapping up our dossier.
We had our last face to face meeting with our social worker on Friday.
She came to our house and she met the kids.
Our house was a mess! Total disaster.
She told us not to clean.
She said people with magazine perfect homes
and decorated nurseries at homestudy make her nervous. 

Ummm. Okay. 

Awesome.
She should have been wicked comfortable at our house then! 

Two days prior to her visit we started turning the house upside down.
We have a four bedroom split level.
Lots of stairs.
We moved Taylor out of his room on the lower level
and we moved Peter down to Taylor's old room.
Taylor and Michael will now share a room upstairs and 
the Princess will have Michael's old room.
We moved everything out of the other three bedrooms and
piled it all into the dining room, kitchen and second bathroom.
We ripped up tons of wall to wall carpeting, tackless strips and staples. 

We piled everything we no longer want on the side of the house.

 Ready for a dump run!

Then, this morning we piled Michael and all of the dogs into the car
and shipped them off to Grandma and Grandpa's house.
(Which is where we will be camping for a few days!)

The floor guys showed up to do hardwood floors throughout the house today.
Therefore, we are displaced. 

Now...before I go any further I need to clarify a few things.
When I say WE did all of this and that, I mean Pete. LOL.
My hardworking, stubborn, tireless, amazing miracle maker of a husband orchestrated all of it.
The boys helped with the heavy lifting.
I did what I could and worked around my work schedule.
Michael went above and beyond to be Pete's right hand man.
Michael rocked it!
Did I mention that Pete ran out and bought all of the furniture that we need in the middle of this??? AND
Our dryer broke and he handled that too!!!
He got it fixed (for now) and then went and negotiated a ridiculous deal on a new dryer!

I worked a twelve hour shift yesterday; he dropped dinner off for me and he looked so tired. 

So can I just tell you that I was moved to TEARS
when I got home and found that he also found time
to surprise me with this:

Step one in building a palace fit for our princess. I love this so much. 

I am so, so blessed. I know this. I have such a great guy. I love him so. 

We are getting super excited now.
Making physical space for this beautiful, amazing little girl
to come in to our home,
in to our lives
and to be our family
is so tangible and so real.
I have butterflies in my stomach. 

Stay tuned for nursery updates
 and in case you missed it,
I recently snuck in a post that we were playing the name game.
We may have a big announcement in the near future!
;)

Paper Pregnant

I am a mess this week. I am crying over everything! All those soldier surprises at graduation, the posts from China with all of the new babies, commercials, even randomly...just outbursts of emotion.

LOL. I feel so stupid afterward. 

Like: what's wrong with me!?!?! 

I am seriously missing our little girl and wanting her home sooner rather than later HOWEVER I know that a big part of my problem is because my son is graduating from High School this week and I am spending a lot of time reflecting on his life and what a gift it has been to parent him and watch him become the young man that he is. I think back to little things that he used to do and my heart aches for that sweet, silly, messy, creative kid. I miss that little boy. I do. I am super excited to see him spread his wings and become the young man he is supposed to be but I sure would love a hug from that seven year old with the big front teeth and the kool-aid moustache. 

<sigh>

Putting the Pieces Together...

Sifting through the information in a Special Needs file can be a daunting task. It is not easy to put aside emotion and dig in to the data before you and analyze. Many people utilize physicians and other health care specialists and get conflicting opinions or discouraging information that really makes it difficult to hold onto the excitement and move forward with confidence. First time parents really struggle with what they should be worried about particularly if they lack exposure to children with medical issues. The terminology is frightening. Growth curves, percentiles, milestones...it's a lot. Especially when you are looking at the beautiful face of a child and wondering "Am I your mommy?, Can I give you what you need?"

That being said, there are many tools available to adoptive parents to help them dig through the information at hand when they get the much anticipated file. I am talking about the info one has to know. The stuff that will become rote when the precious pumpkin is home and going to regular  doctor appointments, etc. I am in no way recommending that this info replaces your physician recommendations or usurps it in any way. I am saying there are tools available to really help you get to know your potential child's level of development and ability.

When a young child visits the pediatrician routine measurements are taken for height, weight and head circumference. These measurements are plotted on a graph and physician's watch for consistency and balance in the growth curve to be assured that the child is developing properly. Chinese children are relatively smaller than the average American child so when their measurements are plotted on the CDC graphs the results are often alarming.

The Magic Foundation offers many types of growth charts for different ethnicities and medical circumstances that you can use for reference. Additionally, a quick growth calculator using who (World Health Organization) data allows you to plug in numbers and it gives you a percentile based on global standards.

The next thing to comb through are development and any abilities that may be listed for the child. The CDC offers a chart and a printable checklist for developmental milestones that a child should reach by each age/stage of development. When working with this checklist keep in mind that it is expected for an institutionalized child to lose one month of development for every three months institutionalized. Therefore, when my referral for a 36 month old child came through I would be reviewing milestones up to 24 months old on the chart. If she exceeded that target it was a bonus. I did the same for older SOG (state of growth) reports in her file. If she had an exam at 18 months of age, I compare her abilities to the 12 month milestone targets and so on.

Important notes:
Information can be contradictory. You might get an update stating that a child is in therapy for poor gross motor skills with a video of the child walking and throwing a ball (with mastery.)
My referral had a statement that read "this child is unable to speak" but the boxes for "puts 3-5 words together" were checked off.
When the boxes aren't checked it does not mean they cannot do it. It probably means it was not observed. We had many unchecked boxes for things that we saw her doing in pictures and video.
Please also check the age when the exam took place. Do not be alarmed if you read that the child is unable to walk and simple math shows they are only seven months old at the time.
Some common sense needs to be applied.

This is especially important when looking at files for children with the very vague neuro diagnoses. For example Hypoxic Ischemic Encephalopathy (impossible to verify with an unwitnessed birth), Brain Damage Syndrome, Low IQ (no valid test methods exist for young children), Low Intelligence, Poor Brain Development, etc. These sweet babies require extra time and attention when their files are under consideration. The labels applied to them sound very intimidating and it is often difficult to find the supporting evidence for these diagnoses. You have to look past the labels and search for their abilities. Many of these babies have institutional delays that are normal under the circumstances in which they have been living. These are the miracle babies that come home and flourish with good nutrition and the love of a family.

My Most Frequently Asked Question...

How did you get a referral so quickly?

There is an undeniable current in the China adoption community that flows with the pursuit of mild to moderate special need girls that are as young as possible. I understand the flow. I do.

My husband and I have three teen boys. Two are the product of his first marriage. One is the product of my first marriage. We have not had a child together. We want to raise a child together and we want a little girl in the house. I have a step-daughter from my first marriage. She was eight years old when I became her step parent. She is now a beautiful, successful, articulate young woman that is planning her wedding and building her future family plans. Pete has never raised a little girl. He wants a daughter. I would have checked either gender on our application. I love parenting boys. I do, however, understand where he is coming from so we checked girl and girl only.

There is much conversation on the support groups about the slow down of referrals for these mild to moderate young girls. People compare agencies and report to each other who has more files with younger girls, etc. There seems to be a mass exodus to get in line for cleft lip/palate girls. (from my observation) Many people lament that they are waiting so long for a referral and indicate that they are open to many medical conditions on their checklist and they cannot understand why they wait. I am going to say something here that may make me very unpopular but if you are open to five or ten conditions on your checklist and you think that is a lot because you really wanted to be in the NSN program but that wait is just impossible so those conditions are a stretch anyway...you are going to wait. You are not going to wait as long as the children are waiting though. The children that are aging out. The little boys. The child with repaired Spina Bifida that is totally healthy with normal intelligence and nothing but potential. The child that is developmentally delayed due to institutionalization, that would flourish in a family. The child with Cerebral Palsy that would fly down the hall with a walker and some AFO's. They will wait much longer. Many of them continue to age out. Every week we see it. Advocates post with sadness that children have reached their fourteenth birthday and are no longer eligible for adoption.

I am not trying to be preachy or sanctimonius AT ALL. What this post truly stems from is many, many private conversations that I have had with the people in our fb support groups over the past few months. When I post that I had a referral in eight days and another adoptive parent I know had her referral in two weeks, people reach out with private messages and want to know how it was done. There is no real magic formula. I keep saying the same things over and over again. We were open to a lot. We were terrified (we still are), we did a ton of research, we had our hearts broken with each and every check mark. It was grueling. We sat with our computer, our iPad and two smart phones as we researched every single condition. We utilized blogs, No Hands But Ours, and support groups to see what life looked like when you had a family member with each condition, we looked up treatment, prognosis and management for each condition and verified that we had access to those services and we made choice after difficult choice. We prayed and prayed some more. After submitting our Medical Conditions Checklist we received an email back from the agency that said: So, I think it is a very  realistic checklist and would expect you will see a child over the next few weeks to months.  I reassured my husband that EVERYONE online is saying it will be  much longer and not to worry, we had plenty of time. Eight. Days.

What we said YES to:

Cataracts, Deafness, Ear Malformation-Microtia/Atresia, Glaucoma, Nystagmus, Hearing Loss Partial, Vision Loss Partial, Ptosis, Strabismus, Dextrocardia, Diabetes, Heart Condition Minor & Major, Thalessemia, Club Foot/Feet, Brachial Plexus Injury, Cerebral Palsy, Hernia, Hip Dysplasia, Hepatitis B&C, Abnormal Brain CT, Arachnoid Cyst, Brain Damage, Hydrocephalus, Sacral Tumor, Spina Bifida (Meningocele/Myelomeningocele), Tethered Spinal Cord, Anal Atresia, Failure to Thrive, Feeding/Swallowing Issues, Hiatal Hernia, Megacolon/Hirschsprung's Disease, Pyloric Stenosis, Hydrocele, Hydronephrosis, Kidney Condition, Eczema, Hemangioma, Lymphangioma, Delayed Development, Poor Brain Development, Premature and YES to Known Multiple Conditions.

 

 

We said YES to her.



 

 

The children are there.

They are waiting.

Find your child.

Do some research, serious research about each of the conditions on the list that scares you. Know your hard line limitations.

I am not saying anyone should bite off more than they know they can chew

BUT you might be able to stretch further than you realize.

 

Little things...

Little update here.

I am working on a bigger post but for now...

First...I just got my half of the mother/daughter jade bracelets that we bought. I am told that YiMan received hers two weeks ago. I do hope they let her wear it. I will wear mine until we meet. The bracelets have light jade beads strung on a red thread. For those of you that don't know the significance of the red thread:
there is an Asian belief that there is an invisible red thread that connects you to those you are destined to have in your life, the thread may stretch or tangle but it will never break.
The red thread legend is very popular in the adoption community (obvious reasons).
Many thanks, again, to Ann at readthreadchina.com

We met our social worker for our first face to face yesterday. LOVED HER.
We both found her super easy to talk to and it wasn't at all as scary as we thought it would be.
We look forward to the rest of the homestudy now.
Pete said I talked waaaaaay too much. Funny, I thought he did.
Lol...anyway, I had so much more to say! HA!

We are really, really excited right now because Disney.
We are thinking about adding a Hong Kong Disneyland Day at the end of our China trip. It is insanely affordable. The HK Disney hotels are cheaper than many other hotels in HK. Park tickets and character meals are a fraction of the US cost. We are not sure where YiMan will be with her comfort level, attachment and handling big outings so we are thinking about booking the HK Disney Hotel for our two days in HK and probably booking a character meal (they have a Chef Mickey's)...if YiMan is doing well we will venture in to the park. If not...quiet day at the hotel.
(BTDT parents: your advice is welcome.)
Also, there is some talk about a Disney cruise with the families from our adoption agency. It will probably be sometime in 2015.
We are really excited about that prospect!

So busy today...this blog post is a little digression to help me get all of my happy thoughts out so I can settle down and focus!

Happy Thoughts:

Updates, News and Pictures!!!

Okay...who remembers the care package that we sent in March?

We tracked that package to Beijing and it arrived there on 4/5/2014. That's where tracking ends.
We never heard if it was delivered or if our sweet girl received any of her things. We asked around on our private fb group for families that have adopted children at the Rehab Hospital and the consensus was clear that children did not receive their packages until they were sent back to their home SWI to prepare for adoption day. That's months off. All of the wonderful people in the group were kind enough to note that packages and parties sent directly to the hospital via the third party providers in China made it through. There were a few recommendations and we chose to work with Ann at Red Thread China. Please look at her web site.She came highly  recommended and I cannot stress enough how happy we are with her service. Truly. She was very patient with our questions, she was helpful in determining which items we should choose and personally attended to every detail! I just love her! On Friday May 9th we sent payment for a Forever Family Cake Party. On Saturday May 10th I received an email that said "Happy Mothers Day" in the subject line. I opened it to see this:

 Could you just die? I almost did.

 Our girl LOVES her cake!

 So pretty in pink.

There is a 1:46 video but blogger is not letting me upload it. 

Basically, we see that she is a lefty! They keep trying to make her put the fork in her right hand but she transfers back. She has nice table manners. She is calm and very observant. She sticks up for her little friends! The little girl in yellow that is to her right had an empty plate and our YiMan got the Nanny's attention and got her some cake! Such a good girl. We clearly hear a man in the room calling her "YiMan" and she responds to it, so we know that she knows that name. 

Her motor skills and self care skills are awesome. 

We are so blessed!

Along with the cake, she also got this:

In the bottom right hand corner of this picture there is a jade red thread bracelet. It's one half to a mommy/daughter set. The other half is en route to me. I really hope they let her wear it and we will both have them on when we meet. The picture pillow is designed to help her get familiar with our faces. There is a translated letter to her and to the nannies. A flash drive with instructions for pics and files. A can of biscuits for the nannies and the panda's. So cute! I hope she gets to enjoy these things.

If that wasn't enough for ya' - there is a BONUS!

I randomly checked my email yesterday and saw a message from the Waiting Child department at our agency...WE GOT AN UPDATE!!! She is still at the Rehab Hospital. We got measurements, pictures and development updates! What we are told: She is 28 pounds (2 pound gain since February). She is 34.25 inches tall. (1 inch gain since February) We got our first foot measurements! We can start thinking about shoes!!! 12 cm (about 4.7 inches) sooooo tiny!!!  They say that she does not need a diaper. She can take her shoes off/put them on independently. Feed herself. She has three meals and three snacks a day and sleeps from 7:30 pm thru 6:30 am (but one of her snacks takes place in that time frame??? GeGe Peter just said that he can help her out with that! LOL)  She is introverted, has stranger anxiety and answers to YiMan or ManMan.  She continues to attend ST and OT. She puts 3-5 word sentences together. The best part:

 We are going crazy now! 

We really cannot get through this process fast enough!

Her hair is growing so fast!

(is that a P and an H on the mittens on her shirt?)

Kid's got a mean poker face!

She is going to give GeGe Taylor a run for his money with that stare down!

Seriously?

Can't stand the cuteness.

The face!!!!

We are so in love.

P.S. We are also playing the name game! 

Shhhh! Don't tell!

Fundraising Progress and Our Current State of Being...

We had a few big fundraisers over the last two weeks. If you follow along on fb you have seen the posts.

On Saturday 4/26 I did a vendor fair at my son's high school and on Saturday we had our first Garage Sale. We raised some money for our adoption fund and we are pretty excited about that. We got a few flat out donations and "keep the change" customers that really touched us with their generosity. In total we raised about $600. Our Fundraiser Thermometer is starting to move!

We met some terrific people. We had a banner with this blog name on it at both events and we handed out story cards to people that expressed an interest. We met people in our community that have been touched by adoption, that are interested in adoption and that support our adoption. We met a woman whose sister left the corporate world to start an orphanage in Haiti. So many people shared their stories and expressed an interest in ours. Many people told us that they will keep us in their prayers. We had a really great time. It fills your soul to have people from all different backgrounds be so happy and supportive and caring...for us, for our family and for our little girl.

We plan to do a few more yard sales. It was a nice way to enjoy the beautiful weather and get to know some of our neighbors. We owe a tremendous debt of gratitude to both of our Moms for staying all day and helping us out and to Michael for being there all day to carry things to cars for people, set up, pack up and he even made some sales! Very importantly we owe BIG to our friends and family members that donated items for us to sell! Christine, Tanya and Lu, Cathy and Gil we sold every donated item!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH for your generosity! Each of the people that donated to our fundraiser will get puzzle pieces with their names on them as they are all definitely a big piece of our journey!

Adoption process wise...it's a waiting game. We have paperwork pending, child abuse clearances are out and I am obsessively refreshing my feed for updated photos of Delilah or some news that she got the care package that we sent her. The hospital and/or the orphanage is under no obligation to take photographs or send us an update but many people do get pics and they are PRECIOUS! So we are hoping!

The Vendor Fair

 

Our First Yard Sale

Who is baba?

…or daddy?

When we first received her file both Holly and I discussed it over time while waiting for updated information but we already knew that she was the one. I have looked at her picture on my phone, on my desktop at work and at home on the iPad as well as on the refrigerator many, many times. I have watched her video again and again every day since we have received her file. I can remember every step she makes as well as all of her expressions. Holly picked up a sigh that she makes when she starts to walk and we both know this video inside and out. I had major concerns with the lack of smiling that I have seen but I have learned so much from our Facebook friends in the adoption community. So many people have generously chimed in with their own experiences. In the weeks that have passed I feel like I can imagine what she is thinking in her pictures. I feel like I have known her, then I realize she doesn't have a clue about who I am. She doesn’t really have the concept of parents or family, she hasn’t experienced it. We look at her photos and imagine what she is doing at the moment they were taken, where she is headed, what she is thinking... LOL We imagine that a little twinkle in her eye as she glances to the left might indicate that she is about to dart off after a friend that was in the previous picture but has left the camera’s view. She gazes so intensely at the camera that it feels like she is looking right at us. We feel like we know so much about her already from simply reading documents, looking at pictures and a quick video. It’s funny, although I feel like I know her and that she knows me nothing could be further from the truth. All of our assumptions about her personality might be completely wrong and of course she does not really know me.

Though, she may know my face…

Holly and I put our care package together and sent our photo's in a little book a few weeks ago. I so wonder what she thinks when she looks at the bald funny looking man smiling at her in those pictures. Does she smile like I do when I look at her photo?  Does she have any idea how much her life is going to change? I wish she knew how badly I want her home. I am so ready to have her here getting the love and attention that she needs and deserves.  

I want her life with us to begin RIGHT NOW. I worry about the day she will meet us. I wonder if she will want to be in my arms as much as I want to hold her. Will she be scared of me? I have learned that some children will go to one parent and not the other.  If she prefers one parent over the other I want it to be Holly that first day because I don't want her to feel left out. 

After all Holly can have that one day no problem and then I will get a lifetime with Daddy's little girl!