Who is baba?

…or daddy?

When we first received her file both Holly and I discussed it over time while waiting for updated information but we already knew that she was the one. I have looked at her picture on my phone, on my desktop at work and at home on the iPad as well as on the refrigerator many, many times. I have watched her video again and again every day since we have received her file. I can remember every step she makes as well as all of her expressions. Holly picked up a sigh that she makes when she starts to walk and we both know this video inside and out. I had major concerns with the lack of smiling that I have seen but I have learned so much from our Facebook friends in the adoption community. So many people have generously chimed in with their own experiences. In the weeks that have passed I feel like I can imagine what she is thinking in her pictures. I feel like I have known her, then I realize she doesn't have a clue about who I am. She doesn’t really have the concept of parents or family, she hasn’t experienced it. We look at her photos and imagine what she is doing at the moment they were taken, where she is headed, what she is thinking... LOL We imagine that a little twinkle in her eye as she glances to the left might indicate that she is about to dart off after a friend that was in the previous picture but has left the camera’s view. She gazes so intensely at the camera that it feels like she is looking right at us. We feel like we know so much about her already from simply reading documents, looking at pictures and a quick video. It’s funny, although I feel like I know her and that she knows me nothing could be further from the truth. All of our assumptions about her personality might be completely wrong and of course she does not really know me.

Though, she may know my face…

Holly and I put our care package together and sent our photo's in a little book a few weeks ago. I so wonder what she thinks when she looks at the bald funny looking man smiling at her in those pictures. Does she smile like I do when I look at her photo?  Does she have any idea how much her life is going to change? I wish she knew how badly I want her home. I am so ready to have her here getting the love and attention that she needs and deserves.  

I want her life with us to begin RIGHT NOW. I worry about the day she will meet us. I wonder if she will want to be in my arms as much as I want to hold her. Will she be scared of me? I have learned that some children will go to one parent and not the other.  If she prefers one parent over the other I want it to be Holly that first day because I don't want her to feel left out. 

After all Holly can have that one day no problem and then I will get a lifetime with Daddy's little girl!